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[grailknight]

It had been some years since Charles had been on the grounds of the former Howard Stark facility. Now it didn't in any stretch of the imagination resemble its more humble beginnings as merely awarehouse. It was a sprawling and active privately ran base, being overseen and staffed by the Avengers and their many associates.

Charles was greeted at the door by FRIDAY, who confirmed his identification and allowed him access into the facility, giving him directions to find her boss, Tony Stark, in her light Irish lilt. He had always been impressed by Tony's imagination and ingenuity; there were no limits to either. Tony's work with the Avengers had seemed to open him up to other avenues that the man might not have one time given any thought to.

The last time Charles had seen Tony was at his husband James's funeral, mere months before the nightmare that was Ultron and the fall of Sokovia. Except for a few e-mails exchanged between them, his contact with Tony had been limited. Now seemed like the perfect time to reconnect, when Tony was left reeling in the aftermath of a catastrophe in Logos, another with the UN, and a team shakeup. Charles had managed to come across other details--such as the detainment of half the team on a floating fortress known as "The Raft", a facility that was barely hinted at in the Sokovia Accords (a document that Charles had also managed to get his hands on.)

Charles began to slow his pace when he came to a large window that was overlooking the grounds. There was peace to be found here, he thought. It had a favour of home.

Comments

[im_ironman]

To Tony, this place was no longer a piece of home. It was too quiet now. Too empty. The rooms that used to be occupied by Steve, Sam, and Wanda remain empty and waiting for them to come back. He had been tempted to convert them all back to plain guest rooms, but he couldn't bare just yet to go in there and empty them out. He also couldn't bring himself to hire someone to do it for him, so for now they were just there, door closed and like three enormous elephants in the house that he was trying to avoid.

Thankfully he had plenty of things keeping him busy. He was working on cybernetic legs for Rhodey, he was consulting with his team of lawyers so they could amend the Accords as was the original plan, he was trying to make sure Vision didn't mope himself into a corner every single day. His suit had essentially been destroyed in the fight, so he also had to fix it, but going in the lab meant seeing Steve's shield. And every time he did that he remembered the way it looked when it was slammed down, in that moment when he thought Steve Rogers was actually going to kill him, and no. Nope. He just couldn't do it. Just how he couldn't sleep, for that same reason. Because he always remembered that day, and everything that had come to light, and the weight that seemed to be pressing against his heart just got heavier every time.

So, he worked instead. Nonstop, nodding off or snoozing whenever his body would cave in from exhaustion, but it was better. He didn't have time to drink, which was probably a good thing because the one time he had allowed himself to do so after returning from Siberia...

Well. Let's just say it didn't end well.

In the room he was using as a makeshift lab, FRIDAY informed him of Charles' arrival and Tony immediately stood up. It had been so long since he had last seen Charles that he was looking forward to seeing him again even if he felt like shit. His face still showed all the marks that Rogers had left behind, and he moved a little gingerly at times because his insides still felt like they were all scrambled together, but seeing a familiar face - a friendly familiar face would be good. Rhodey was plenty friendly, but he knew he was driving Rhodey crazy with how much he was trying to help, so maybe he needed more company.

As he walked into the room where Charles was, Tony couldn't help but smile. The family resemblance with Edwin had always been something that was noticeable, but seeing it again after everything that had happened and after his world and life and family was ripped apart? It was good to see him, even if his heart felt like it was squeezed a little too tight.

"Not bad, right?" He asked of the view, walking up closer to the other man. "I can give you a tour of the place later, if you want."

[grailknight]

Charles had the height and stature that his great uncle had, and a complete ease about him. Physically, Charles took a great deal after his uncle, but his bright green eyes were colder, more calculating. Agent Gawain hadn't been charged with being the cleaner of the Kingsman. Tony did not know the extent of his or his great uncle's work--not even now after Tony himself was taking on global-wide threats, at levels that far exceeded the ones Charles dealt with. Alien invaders from different dimensions. That was not in his purview, though it seemed to be in Tony Stark's, and perhaps, for a time, for his uncle, judging on some of the old reports he had read. Charles was both curious and investigative and he didn't let anything like security stop him from the information that he was looking to attain. If there was information that could better help him understand what he was up against, he would take any means to obtain it. That particular personality quirk made him and Tony more alike than most people would tend to realise. Charles had the upbringing of an English gentleman, and dressed the part in his wool bespoked two piece suit and Oxfords. Today he was missing the glasses that he would normally be wearing--as a consideration to Tony. There wasn't going to be any recording on the premises today.

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and he looked over his shoulder at Tony. "More than not bad. You've created something special here. And yes, I would very much like a tour." Charles surveyed Tony's injuries and began to frown. "I'm sorry, Tony." It was an umbrella statement; Charles was sorry for a great many things. Not just the physical injuries, but Logos, the Accords, or the separation, but Ultron, Sokovia, Peggy Carter, Hydra (he had read the files Agent Romanoff had released to the internet too--that was a field day). There seemed to be more things to be sorry for than not. And Tony was here standing in the ruins of all of that looking like he at the least needed a hug and at the most needed to be knocked out for a week.

Tony had thrown himself into this line of work without any training, without any prior assessment--which really should have been done. Charles had strong doubts that Tony even had a therapist--it seemed like obtaining one of those who would be able to offer any relevant insight would be difficult to come by (and he should know a thing or two about that.) "First and foremost, let me say that you have me here as long as you need me." Harry understood that he had been looking for something to do for a while that wasn't work related. He needed something (or someone) to invest some time into. He had had a string of physical relationships and none of them had gone very far, even the one where he had someone move in with him. It just wasn't right. None of it was right. He hadn't found what was right since James had died and it was throwing him off in his personal life--and perhaps his professional life too. His heart wasn't in the mission anymore. And whether that meant he should retire or take another position within the network remained to be seen. But he needed this sabbatical. Now that things had settled down for them, it was prudent for him to take a leave.

[im_ironman]

You've created something special here. Charles' comment was complimentary, but Tony couldn't help but feel like someone punched him in his broken ribs. Because yeah, this place had been special, and now... The sensation settled, dark and ugly in his gut, but he didn't let his expression falter as he looked out the window as well. "Thanks."

The moment Charles said he was sorry, Tony immediately shook his head slightly. Trying to say it wasn't a big deal, that it was okay, that it didn't matter, but it was such a damn lie that it lacked any conviction. Because he still didn't know how it had all gotten so horribly screwed up. He was drowning in grief and a sense of helplessness that was blending far too well with his anger and the betrayal from Steve, and he just let out a breath.

"Thanks," he repeated, especially at his offer. He wanted to say it was okay, he was fine, but he and Charles knew each other long enough to know that he wouldn't believe him if he tried saying that. "I appreciate it. Work won't be needing you any time soon?"

As he spoke, he motioned towards the living room so they could at least sit. "Can I offer you something to drink?" The mini bar in the corner was very inviting, but Tony wouldn't reach out for the bottle unless Charles joined him in a drink. If not, well, he could make tea or coffee instead.

[grailknight]

He noted the shift in Tony's muscles in his face and body language. "Now is not the end for the Avengers, or for any of the work you've done. They are the first thing I have seen you believe in in a very long time." Perhaps ever? But he wasn't going to say that."

Charles' smile returned and he accompanied Tony to the other room. "No. I finished my most recent mission and am currently going to be inactive for a little while. It feels good." Charles gave the bar a slight survey. "Absolutely. I would have made us each something if you hadn't offered." The Stark residence always had been offered to him as a home when he had been visiting his great uncle.

[im_ironman]

"There are only two Avengers left, and my best friend was left paralyzed. It sure as hell feels like the team is over."

There was a bite to his tone as he said the words, but he swallowed it down. After a pause, "My work is not done, though. I signed the Accords. I'm technically still employed by 117 countries. 125 as of this morning, actually."

It had cost him his friends and that sense of family that Tony was finally having again. It had cost Rhodey his legs. It had broken Vision's non-existent heart. Rogers had poked and prodded once about not being the type of man that stood for something, and now that he did it just felt so damn hollow that Rogers was faulting him for accountability and responsibility. But, there was no point in complaining now, was there.

At the news of Charles' break, he offered a small smile. "Yeah? And you came to upstate New York for your vacation? I hope you don't get bored. You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like, of course."

At the bar, he served himself a glass of scotch before glancing over at Charles. Tony had plenty of bottles for any kind of craving, he just stuck with his usual drink. "What can I offer you?"

[grailknight]

"Temporarily. The others will not be in lock-down forever, and I daresay that you'll find a way to help your friend as well." Tony needed some pep--er, it was probably best not to bring that up, either, Charles mentally noted.

"Employed? You mean, they are actually paying you? Your hazard pay must be astronomical." Charles gave a light smile. "Scotch, neat, please."

Charles leaned against the bar as he watched Tony go to work. "Yes I did. It's never been boring here--and I don't expect it to be boring now." He gave Tony a light pat on the arm. "Now what are you doing for yourself? Besides all of this? Tell me something that I haven't heard in the news or had to lift from the US government."

[im_ironman]

Tony wished that he could be as confident as Charles about all this, he really did, but he just couldn't. Not right now, anyway. Everything was still so fresh and raw that it was impossible to see past the destruction that he and Steve had left behind.

"They can't afford me," he answered with a slight smile of his own. "But they let me be Iron Man, and do what I need to do without throwing me in jail, so hey. That's something, right?"

Charles' drink was easy - it was the exact same thing he was having - so in no time he was handing him his glass and guiding him towards the living room so they could sit. What was he doing for himself? The question actually made him draw a blank, but he covered it up by taking a sip of his scotch.

"I'm building an exoskeleton for Rhodey," he finally answered. His hands definitely showed it, with faint cuts, a burn, and fresh callouses that gave away how many hours he had been working in the lab lately. "Meetings with lawyers... Nothing exciting, really. Just been working a lot."

[grailknight]

Charles retained his soft smile. He recognised Tony's expression as he had made the same many times over the last two years. His loss wasn't so raw. Focusing on Tony's plight was reaffirming; Charles had learned new coping strategiez and how to sit with himself. Drink was a good friend at times, but a warm blooded human being was much better. It had taken him a little while to learn that, as Charles natural instincts had him separating himself from others.

"No, no they can't," he said, his smile turning amused. "Now that is a funny question, I think." Though Tony had intended it to be rhetorical. "That is less a prison and more of an asylum." Charles took his drink to the corner of the couch.

"See? Like I said, your friend is going to be fine." He sipped his drink. "But what are you doing for you? Or would like to?"

[im_ironman]

He wasn't wrong - the Raft really did have more of an asylum feel to it. And as much as he could say that the others made their choice and it was their doing that they were stuck in there, he couldn't help the familiar weight of guilt that seemed to press down against his heart. His left arm ached, as it had been ever since the whole thing with the Accords had begun, but he just took a sip of his scotch as if that would make it go away.

"Yeah, he'll be fine." Rhodey would walk, at the very least. The next step was to modify his suit. Not because Tony was eager to have him back on the field, because he wasn't. Hell, he wanted to wrap his best friend in bubble wrap so that he wouldn't get hurt again. But he knew Rhodey would want to fly, so he'd do everything he could to help him accomplish that.

Charles' question pulled him out of his thoughts and he blinked. "...what do you mean?" Sad part was, his confusion wasn't feigned. He really didn't know what he could mean by that. Something for himself?

[grailknight]

"I'm more concerned about you," he said, giving Tony a sober look. "Have you talked to anyone about what happened in New York a couple of years ago?"

Charles kept his eyes on Tony. He was polite in his tone, yet pointed.

[im_ironman]

"Oh, the... Yeah. I did."

Technically it wasn't a lie. He had talked to Pepper about it. He had even talked to Bruce, even if he had fallen asleep and hadn't seemed to care about it. That counted, right?

Leaning against the couch, he swirled his scotch idly for a moment. "It's fine. I'm keeping busy, not drinking 24/7. That's improvement from a few years ago."

[grailknight]

Charles raised an eyebrow slightly. "A professional? May I be forward, Tony?" He had certain thoughts on the matter and could offer his own experiences, but he wouldn't if Tony wasn't allowing. It was the 'keeping busy' that Charles was the most concerned about. That did not do well in creating a level head.

[im_ironman]

"He's a doctor, yes." He took a swig of his drink, silent for a moment. A million things ran through his mind in a matter of seconds, but his poker face was now too good in situations like these. Especially regarding that.

"Sure. Go ahead."

[grailknight]

Charles cupped his glass in both hands. "Did you lose yourself up there? Were you convinced that you were going to die, and didn't...did that leave you feeling empty and purposeless? Not for others, but yourself? Or perhaps that was the first glimpse at yourself in ages. Facing your mortality." Charles frowned and spoke quietly, "I know someone with PTSD when I see it."

[im_ironman]

Initially Tony didn't say anything. He stared at Charles with a set expression that was almost impossible to read before a dry sort of smile brushed at his lips. It lacked any humor, and he glanced down at his own glass as if that would hide whatever emotion could be surfacing in that moment.

"I did die," he finally clarified. Not haunted, or tired; if anything, there was a hint of defensiveness to his voice that he had to swallow down. "But no, it didn't leave me purposeless. I saw what was out there. I saw what could be possible, what could come here and destroy us all. It left me wanting to stop it."

[grailknight]

"So you threw yourself into doing whatever it takes to saving the world?" Charles frowned. "Tony, I am concerned for your mental wellbeing. There is a great deal of things that the human brain has difficulty with processing. Your own death is one such things. The spirit might be willing, but what of the body and the mind? You have seen human fraility, cruelity, sacrifice, on top of outside invaders. You have never been made prepared for these things. If you never had the foundation for mental awareness and fortitude, there will come a time when everything breaks."

Charles sipped his drink. "You already had a great deal of unaddressed pain well before you donned the Iron Man suit, which in itself came out of a traumatic situation to you. It was an awareness made manifest. Create the outer to resemble what is going on internally. A suit of armour can protect the body, but it cannot heal that which lacks substannce."

[im_ironman]

"So the world is falling apart, and I'm just supposed to - what? Stand by and not do anything? I can't do that." He frowned. "I've processed my death. It happened, I came back. It's been more than a few years since that happened. And yeah, a lot has happened, but so what? It's not going to stop just because I do."

The mention of his pain prior to Iron Man existing made him bristle, and he downed his drink before getting up so he could refill his drink. His jaw was clenching so tightly that he just needed something to do, because this really wasn't a conversation he wanted to have after what had happened with Steve and the team and Rhodey, but he knew if he threw some sort of tantrum it would just be proving Charles right.

"So what am I supposed to do?" His voice sounded eerily calm, especially considering that he felt like his blood was burning through his veins. "Wait it out? Take a vacation while the world goes to shit? I mean, I'm arrogant but not enough to believe the world will fall apart without me. But I just can't sit here, or in California, or Fiji, sipping cocktails and watching it all unfold. If I'm not part of the solution, then I'm part of the problem."

[grailknight]

"Did you really? There are consequences for experiences such as yours. We don't always know the reprocussions until we find ourselves in them." Charles took another sip from his glass. "It isn't that you must rest; you need new strategies to better address your current situation. Everything in moderation."

Charles left the couch to join Tony and held his glass out to Tony to refresh his glass.

"Your eagerness to join the fray can cause diaster just as well." He didn't have to name Ultron for Tony to know what he meant. "I can act as advisor to you if you would like my assistance."

[im_ironman]

Tony huffs out a chuckle that is almost brittle with bitterness. "This is me using moderation. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be standing here. I'd be wasted and in my lab, or I wouldn't have even agreed to the company."

Picking up the bottle, he refilled their glasses and he sighed under his breath.

"'Advisor.'" He let the world roll through his mouth as he contemplated the suggestion, eyeing him as if he wasn't sure how to take that. "You know I don't like being told what to do, right?"

[grailknight]

Charles smiled gently. "I see that you are trying to do what is better for you."

He nodded in thanks and placed the glass to his lips.

"It is my understanding that there have ever been only two people who have been able to tell you what to do. I can be a sounding board. Nothing more."

[im_ironman]

"I'm just trying to make it. That's it."

He didn't know if that was what was better for him or not, but he was doing it, anyway. When Charles mentioned about the two people that have been able to tell him what to do, Tony gave him a faint smile. Because even with them, Tony generally ended up doing whatever the hell he wanted to do anyway and damn the consequences. Which wasn't necessarily a good thing, but whatever.

"Thanks," he answered after another sip of his drink. "I'll keep that in mind." Whether or not he would take him up on that, he wasn't sure. With everything that had happened in Siberia, he felt too exposed to really let anyone in right now, but he wasn't lying when he said he would keep his offer in mind.

"Do you want me to show you to your room? In case you want to get settled in, I mean."