(no subject)

[grailknight]

It had been some years since Charles had been on the grounds of the former Howard Stark facility. Now it didn't in any stretch of the imagination resemble its more humble beginnings as merely awarehouse. It was a sprawling and active privately ran base, being overseen and staffed by the Avengers and their many associates.

Charles was greeted at the door by FRIDAY, who confirmed his identification and allowed him access into the facility, giving him directions to find her boss, Tony Stark, in her light Irish lilt. He had always been impressed by Tony's imagination and ingenuity; there were no limits to either. Tony's work with the Avengers had seemed to open him up to other avenues that the man might not have one time given any thought to.

The last time Charles had seen Tony was at his husband James's funeral, mere months before the nightmare that was Ultron and the fall of Sokovia. Except for a few e-mails exchanged between them, his contact with Tony had been limited. Now seemed like the perfect time to reconnect, when Tony was left reeling in the aftermath of a catastrophe in Logos, another with the UN, and a team shakeup. Charles had managed to come across other details--such as the detainment of half the team on a floating fortress known as "The Raft", a facility that was barely hinted at in the Sokovia Accords (a document that Charles had also managed to get his hands on.)

Charles began to slow his pace when he came to a large window that was overlooking the grounds. There was peace to be found here, he thought. It had a favour of home.

Comments

[im_ironman]

"Oh, the... Yeah. I did."

Technically it wasn't a lie. He had talked to Pepper about it. He had even talked to Bruce, even if he had fallen asleep and hadn't seemed to care about it. That counted, right?

Leaning against the couch, he swirled his scotch idly for a moment. "It's fine. I'm keeping busy, not drinking 24/7. That's improvement from a few years ago."

[grailknight]

Charles raised an eyebrow slightly. "A professional? May I be forward, Tony?" He had certain thoughts on the matter and could offer his own experiences, but he wouldn't if Tony wasn't allowing. It was the 'keeping busy' that Charles was the most concerned about. That did not do well in creating a level head.

[im_ironman]

"He's a doctor, yes." He took a swig of his drink, silent for a moment. A million things ran through his mind in a matter of seconds, but his poker face was now too good in situations like these. Especially regarding that.

"Sure. Go ahead."

[grailknight]

Charles cupped his glass in both hands. "Did you lose yourself up there? Were you convinced that you were going to die, and didn't...did that leave you feeling empty and purposeless? Not for others, but yourself? Or perhaps that was the first glimpse at yourself in ages. Facing your mortality." Charles frowned and spoke quietly, "I know someone with PTSD when I see it."

[im_ironman]

Initially Tony didn't say anything. He stared at Charles with a set expression that was almost impossible to read before a dry sort of smile brushed at his lips. It lacked any humor, and he glanced down at his own glass as if that would hide whatever emotion could be surfacing in that moment.

"I did die," he finally clarified. Not haunted, or tired; if anything, there was a hint of defensiveness to his voice that he had to swallow down. "But no, it didn't leave me purposeless. I saw what was out there. I saw what could be possible, what could come here and destroy us all. It left me wanting to stop it."

[grailknight]

"So you threw yourself into doing whatever it takes to saving the world?" Charles frowned. "Tony, I am concerned for your mental wellbeing. There is a great deal of things that the human brain has difficulty with processing. Your own death is one such things. The spirit might be willing, but what of the body and the mind? You have seen human fraility, cruelity, sacrifice, on top of outside invaders. You have never been made prepared for these things. If you never had the foundation for mental awareness and fortitude, there will come a time when everything breaks."

Charles sipped his drink. "You already had a great deal of unaddressed pain well before you donned the Iron Man suit, which in itself came out of a traumatic situation to you. It was an awareness made manifest. Create the outer to resemble what is going on internally. A suit of armour can protect the body, but it cannot heal that which lacks substannce."

[im_ironman]

"So the world is falling apart, and I'm just supposed to - what? Stand by and not do anything? I can't do that." He frowned. "I've processed my death. It happened, I came back. It's been more than a few years since that happened. And yeah, a lot has happened, but so what? It's not going to stop just because I do."

The mention of his pain prior to Iron Man existing made him bristle, and he downed his drink before getting up so he could refill his drink. His jaw was clenching so tightly that he just needed something to do, because this really wasn't a conversation he wanted to have after what had happened with Steve and the team and Rhodey, but he knew if he threw some sort of tantrum it would just be proving Charles right.

"So what am I supposed to do?" His voice sounded eerily calm, especially considering that he felt like his blood was burning through his veins. "Wait it out? Take a vacation while the world goes to shit? I mean, I'm arrogant but not enough to believe the world will fall apart without me. But I just can't sit here, or in California, or Fiji, sipping cocktails and watching it all unfold. If I'm not part of the solution, then I'm part of the problem."

[grailknight]

"Did you really? There are consequences for experiences such as yours. We don't always know the reprocussions until we find ourselves in them." Charles took another sip from his glass. "It isn't that you must rest; you need new strategies to better address your current situation. Everything in moderation."

Charles left the couch to join Tony and held his glass out to Tony to refresh his glass.

"Your eagerness to join the fray can cause diaster just as well." He didn't have to name Ultron for Tony to know what he meant. "I can act as advisor to you if you would like my assistance."

[im_ironman]

Tony huffs out a chuckle that is almost brittle with bitterness. "This is me using moderation. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be standing here. I'd be wasted and in my lab, or I wouldn't have even agreed to the company."

Picking up the bottle, he refilled their glasses and he sighed under his breath.

"'Advisor.'" He let the world roll through his mouth as he contemplated the suggestion, eyeing him as if he wasn't sure how to take that. "You know I don't like being told what to do, right?"

[grailknight]

Charles smiled gently. "I see that you are trying to do what is better for you."

He nodded in thanks and placed the glass to his lips.

"It is my understanding that there have ever been only two people who have been able to tell you what to do. I can be a sounding board. Nothing more."

[im_ironman]

"I'm just trying to make it. That's it."

He didn't know if that was what was better for him or not, but he was doing it, anyway. When Charles mentioned about the two people that have been able to tell him what to do, Tony gave him a faint smile. Because even with them, Tony generally ended up doing whatever the hell he wanted to do anyway and damn the consequences. Which wasn't necessarily a good thing, but whatever.

"Thanks," he answered after another sip of his drink. "I'll keep that in mind." Whether or not he would take him up on that, he wasn't sure. With everything that had happened in Siberia, he felt too exposed to really let anyone in right now, but he wasn't lying when he said he would keep his offer in mind.

"Do you want me to show you to your room? In case you want to get settled in, I mean."